At Least a Last Dance

i was hoping for a comeback for many many years since.

i wished to see him give birth to a new move as legendary or far epic than the moonwalk.

i wished to hear a new song from him as powerfully moving as "she's out of my life".

i was looking forward for so much more.

until this ending.

how i wish that if indeed this kind of finale is unavoidable, michael jackson should have at least lived until his comeback...for a final performance that will remind us of the artist that he is rather than his controversies. whether he lived as an upright person, is a debate. but him as great artist is incontestable.

i hate how adversity came to him.

i hate how it kept the artist in MJ from a giving us at least the last dance.

but given this ending, you just sail on and rest in peace. you will be remembered for every song you shared with the world.

glint

..IN THE WALL
It's already Thursday. This has been the most -well, partially- not so productive week. Thanks to migraine attacks. So far I attended only two meetings and was consistently tardy. I have been expecting a more irate and nervy Sir C. But no. He's cooler then cavestones that he bought me a pack of cigarettes. Ha-ha-ha saya. :p

At home its the usual scenario..play Park Hyo-shin songs while reviewing piles and piles of document. I am sure my neighbors think I am crazy for singing out loud some unintelligible words. None so far have come forward to remind me that I still have a capacity to feel shame. Whether the event is still forthcoming or they are just considerate people, I do not know. I'd rather that it's the latter.

My kind of break is to lie -classic, yeah- down, stare in my brick wall. Lately I have been into making out forms and shapes on the wall's face. It's kind of fascinating how its irregular texture gives me a semblance of something familiar. I have seen Captain Cook. Or Jack Sparrow is it? I have seen a face of a young boy (or is it a girl?) lying dreamily on the side of his face. Just too many to make out.

This morning I woke up and saw this glinting dot on a brick. It was staring straight onto me head-level. No. I was staring straight onto it. Then, an image of a boy (as if I was the boy) who walked and rubbed the glint zoomed on my head. The glint was a very very tiny hole and when he peered through it, he saw...

Ahh. I know now the fillers to the story I have been writing. Smiles. smiles.

..IN MY DREAMS
I have been counting.
The days that is when i first became enamored by this amazing, amazing Park Hyo-shin. I thought it was just a fleeting fancy on this amazing, amazing singer. Hah! But then..it's been two years. Already two years. Two years straight that I have been playing at least one of his song every night and that should be more than 700 days of being a PHS zealot.

Galing!

Someday I will be able to listen to him exactly the same place where he sings...glinting larger than life.

Ahh. This head is a bugger.

pock face.

after my nth slip in the "buddha room," i was kind of mentally whacked because my blabber machine (aka mouth) is shut. can't walk. can't work. this pain is a bugger. i had no choice but to tinker the two things that're within my reach: concealer and mirror.

"there is one here under the eye."
"where..ahh okay. (dab concealer)"
"then here..on the cheekbone."
"alright. (dab concealer). uh-oh i see one on the nose. (dab concealer)."
"there.. 3 here under the chin. dab quick."
"coming..coming..(dab concealer). there you go. 'else?"
"oh..wait..let's see...right cheekbone..there's 2."
"really..i thought it's gone. ok. (dab concealer)"
"undereye next."
"umm..o..k..(dab concealer)"
"there's also one near the temple"
"(dab concealer)"
"next, upper brow"
"(dab concealer)"
"next, forehead. There's 5."
"(dabbed concealer x5.)"
"uh..wait..(parting the bangs widely)..there's a lot on your left temp.."
"SHUT UP!"

i should have gone to sleep.

jam-coated cleone

Beat me! I am hooked. Ottoke? Ottoke?

------------------Warning-----------------
This entry again is about love.
Dang. Foolish. Me. Strikes. Again. But I love it. Nyahahaha. Beat me. :p
-----------------------

see.. I am having this really high school-ish crush over someone. Heck, I am kind of shaken. Whoooozzz.. A while back, I saw this someone ---for security purposes I will call him Jam-Coated-Cleone.

Why this name? Jam-Coated-because I don't want to use sugar-coated. simple. nyahaha. Cleone-because I was thinking of a symbol that is a little deep. (?!?!) At that time, I just opened my yahoo mail and I saw this notif on my daemon, Cleone. Daemon. Soul. Why not? So he is my jam-coated soul. I can hear roarings: eww. yuck. and all the sort :D

This is not going to be a discourse on how and when and where this matter of great importance (?!?!) occurred. Too dangerous.

I am a proud person. My pride is higher than the tip of my hair strands defying gravity. I have had too many bloopers that are enough to make me shrink but my ego seems to have a way of creeping up--like an insect you thought you had crushed but surprisingly pops in on the most delicate spots. But, why oh why I cannot open my mouth properly and make sensible inference on things as if I never expended my life reading, reading and reading; as if I don't and will not make sense; as if I am...the greatest insignificant asshole of the 21st century. (I think this line is in Wanted. :))

This is so like the first time I had a liking on someone. I can still remember his face. Fair. Tall. Puppy-eyed. Wind-swept hair..and the buck teeth. Then, his features were charming but now..its kinda..funny. FYI my dear first crush, I never paid attention to the Top Gun movie we watched.

Beat me.

aku cape re-post: i stand corrected. terimakasih bob.

i'd say, it was ambitious to command another tongue. but bob is great to give the better translation.

terimakasih, teman baru, bob nicolaus.

originally, this was entitled. aku cape. but according to boss andeka, when using "tired" in literature, it should be letih or lelah. Well, i chose lelah coz it charms my ears.

so many thanks to avantrade-jatis team. you all cool peeps. :D

aku lelah
aku lelah
bagaikan ombak
kau memukau diriku
dengan kecantikanmu yang mendua
pelan namun bersahaja
kekanak-kanakan namun juga bijak
setia namun tak tergambarkan

seperti halnya sang ombak
kau selalu memikat dan menggodaku
memelukku dan merasuk sukmaku
(terlepas dari tujuanmu yang tak menentu)
dan selalu
kau tinggalkanku di saat ku inginkan dirimu lebih

aku lelah...
sangat lelah...
ingin hati tuk berteduh
hingga fajar pun, perlahan berlalu